I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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