you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
