Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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