And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
