you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
