There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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