im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
