3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
