just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize