are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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