So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
