so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize