I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
