tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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