i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
