We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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