From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
BRING THE BAGELS
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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