At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize