is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
