She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
