There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
