It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Even my vagina gasped.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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