I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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