i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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