Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
