I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
