Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
