Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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