i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize