There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
BRING THE BAGELS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
