I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
