So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
