Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
