Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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