He disabled his match.com account in front of me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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