I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
