Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
