He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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