We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
