I heard we made out
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize