I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
