I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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