its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
