have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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