Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
