never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
