So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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