Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
