I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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