yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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