Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
