I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
