Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
