i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
