In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
