its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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