I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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