You can't special order awesome
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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