i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
