Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
