i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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