She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
