The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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