I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
