I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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