Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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