im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
