I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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