it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
